Lattimore writes in long, sprawling free verse lines that carry an archaic, ceremonial weight. His opening stretches across multiple beats: "hurled in their multitudes to the house of Hades strong souls / of heroes, but gave their bodies to be the delicate feasting / of dogs, of all birds." The syntax is displaced, the phrasing formal, and the register consistently elevated. Jordan works in shorter, more regular lines with contemporary diction. His opening runs clean and direct: "consigned to Hades countless valiant souls, / heroes, and left their bodies prey for dogs / or feast for vultures." In the Book 21 passage, Lattimore's Achilles asks "Do you not see what a man I am, how huge, how splendid," while Jordan gives "do you not see my own splendor, my size?" Jordan's line is compressed; Lattimore's expands the phrase into something grander and slower. Lattimore prizes closeness to the Greek structure, preserving word order and formula even when the result feels unfamiliar in English. This gives his version scholarly integrity but asks the reader to adjust to an unusual rhythm. Jordan prioritizes movement and clarity, producing lines that read quickly and feel speakable. The trade-off is visible in the leaves simile of Book 6: Lattimore keeps "the live timber / burgeons with leaves again," an exact image, while Jordan changes it to "the forest / prospers and leafs again," which is smoother but removes the distinction between dead wood and living growth. Jordan's Athena in Book 5 calls Ares "a frenzied two-faced pest," which lands fast and sharply; Lattimore's "that thing of fury, evil-wrought, that double-faced liar" is stranger and heavier. Each choice reflects what each translator treats as the reader's primary need.
Sing, goddess, the anger of Peleus' son Achilleus
and its devastation, which puts pains thousandfold upon the Achaians,
hurled in their multitudes to the house of Hades strong souls
of heroes, but gave their bodies to be the delicate feasting
of dogs, of all birds, and the will of Zeus was accomplished
since that time when first there stood in division of conflict
Atreus' son the lord of men and brilliant Achilleus.
Sing, goddess, of Peleus' son Achilles' anger,
ruinous, that caused the Greeks untold ordeals,
consigned to Hades countless valiant souls,
heroes, and left their bodies prey for dogs
or feast for vultures. Zeus's will was done
from when those two first quarreled and split apart,
the king, Agamemnon, and matchless Achilles.