Lattimore writes in long, rolling lines that often run to fifteen syllables or more, following the rhythm of Homeric hexameter without reproducing it in Greek meter. His diction reaches for an elevated, slightly archaic register: in Book 1 he writes "hurled in their multitudes to the house of Hades strong souls," a phrase that sounds formal and distant from everyday speech. Johnston writes shorter, more variable lines with a contemporary register. Where Lattimore says "that thing of fury, evil-wrought, that double-faced liar" of Ares in Book 5, Johnston says "that madman, born evil, that fickle god." Johnston's phrase is blunter and faster. Lattimore's longer constructions keep a ceremonial weight; Johnston's syntax is closer to how an educated reader speaks today. Lattimore stays close to the Greek word order and keeps Homeric epithets and formulas intact, which reflects his background as a classical scholar and his concern with preserving the texture of the original. Johnston reads more smoothly in a single sitting, adding small clarifying words and breaking up dense lines, which makes the story easier to follow but drops some of the compression. In Book 21, Lattimore gives Achilles "Yet even I have also my death and my strong destiny," which keeps the Greek structure. Johnston gives "Yet over me, as well, hangs Fate," which is direct but removes the doubled emphasis of the original. Johnston's version reads more naturally; Lattimore's version keeps more of the Greek's rhetorical shape.
Sing, goddess, the anger of Peleus' son Achilleus
and its devastation, which puts pains thousandfold upon the Achaians,
hurled in their multitudes to the house of Hades strong souls
of heroes, but gave their bodies to be the delicate feasting
of dogs, of all birds, and the will of Zeus was accomplished
since that time when first there stood in division of conflict
Atreus' son the lord of men and brilliant Achilleus.
Sing, Goddess, sing the rage of Achilles, son of Peleus—
that murderous anger which condemned Achaeans
to countless agonies and threw many warrior souls
deep into Hades, leaving their dead bodies
carrion food for dogs and birds—
all in fulfilment of the will of Zeus.