Both translations are in verse, but they handle line length and register differently. Green pulls diction toward the contemporary and occasionally colloquial: in Book 21 he writes "a sick piece of work, a two-faced / liar" for Ares, where Verity gives "this shape formed of evil, this two-faced scoundrel." Green's phrase lands harder and faster; Verity's is more formal. Green also uses compressed, sometimes jarring syntax, as in the opening "Achilles Pēleus's son's / calamitous wrath," stacking possessives to preserve Greek word order. Verity runs longer lines with more regular syntax, closer to natural English sentence rhythm. Green marks Greek proper nouns with accent and macron (Hādēs, Ārgives), signaling scholarly apparatus on the page. Verity drops those diacriticals entirely, keeping the surface cleaner for a reader not focused on pronunciation. Green's stated aim is closeness to the Greek at the level of syntax and word position, and that shows. In the Book 6 leaves passage, he gives four lines where Verity gives four, but Green's "the fertile / woodland grows others" compresses where Verity's "the forest breaks / into bud and makes more" spreads out. Green gains precision and occasional strangeness; some phrases require a second reading. Verity prioritizes a reader moving continuously through the narrative: his sentences parse on first contact. In Book 9, Green's "two contrary spirits" and Verity's "two spectres" both translate the same Greek word (κῆρας), but "spectres" reaches for atmosphere while "contrary spirits" stays closer to the sense of opposing fates. Each choice reflects a different priority: density versus forward motion.
Wrath, goddess, sing of Achilles Pēleus's son's
calamitous wrath, which hit the Achaians with countless ills—
many the valiant souls it saw off down to Hādēs,
souls of heroes, their selves1 left as carrion for dogs
and all birds of prey, and the plan of Zeus was fulfilled
from the first moment those two men parted in fury,
Atreus's son, king of men, and the godlike Achilles.
SING, goddess, the anger of Achilles, Peleus' son,
the accursed anger which brought the Achaeans countless
agonies and hurled many mighty shades of heroes into Hades,
causing them to become the prey of dogs and
all kinds of birds; and the plan of Zeus was fulfilled.
Sing from the time the two men were first divided in strife—
Atreus' son, lord of men, and glorious Achilles.