Both Green and Merrill write in verse, but their line lengths differ markedly. Green works in a looser, speech-paced line that breaks mid-thought when the Greek demands it, while Merrill uses a long, rolling line built to approximate the dactylic hexameter of the original. In the opening lines, Green gives "calamitous wrath, which hit the Achaians with countless ills," a phrase that lands quickly and colloquially, where Merrill writes "ruinous rage which brought the Achaians uncounted afflictions," which is more formal and rhythmically extended. Green's register throughout is contemporary without being casual. Merrill's is elevated and slightly ceremonial. In the Achilles speech of Book 9, Green writes "I'll lose my homecoming, but gain imperishable renown," a clean, modern construction, while Merrill's "never will perish my glory" is more consciously Homeric in word order. Merrill states his aim to reproduce the sound and measure of Homer's Greek hexameter in English, and his choices follow from that: he keeps the long line, retains epithets in full, and favors a syntax that sometimes inverts for metrical reasons, as in "so am I now to you a supporter and helper" from Book 5. This gives his translation a strong sense of oral delivery but can slow the action. Green prioritizes natural English phrasing and speed of reading. He cuts Athena's speech in Book 5 to sharper, more direct statements, and in Book 21, Achilles' taunt "Can't you see what I'm like" arrives with genuine menace. Green gains readability and immediacy; Merrill gains formal fidelity to Homer's compositional structure.
Wrath, goddess, sing of Achilles Pēleus's son's
calamitous wrath, which hit the Achaians with countless ills—
many the valiant souls it saw off down to Hādēs,
souls of heroes, their selves1 left as carrion for dogs
and all birds of prey, and the plan of Zeus was fulfilled
from the first moment those two men parted in fury,
Atreus's son, king of men, and the godlike Achilles.
Sing now, goddess, the wrath of Achilles the scion of Peleus,
ruinous rage which brought the Achaians uncounted afflictions;
many the powerful souls it sent to the dwelling of Hades,
those of the heroes, and spoil for the dogs it made of their bodies,
plunder for all of the birds, and the purpose of Zeus was accomplished—
sing from the time when first stood hostile, starting the conflict,
Atreus' scion, the lord of the people, and noble Achilles.