Wilson writes in free verse with lines that run close to natural English speech rhythms. Her sentences often break across lines without ceremony, and her word choices are contemporary: "cataclysmic wrath," "shapeshifter," "colluding." In Book 21, she gives Achilles the blunt command "So die, my friend. Why are you so upset?" The register is direct, even conversational. Merrill works in dactylic hexameter, the meter of the Greek original, which produces longer, more formal lines with a rolling forward motion. His opening reads "Sing now, goddess, the wrath of Achilles the scion of Peleus," where "scion" and the inverted syntax signal a deliberately elevated, archaic register. The two translations sound very different read aloud. Wilson's stated priority is accessibility: she wants the poem to read with the urgency it would have had for its original audience, so she removes formal distance and cuts toward clarity. In Book 9, she renders Achilles's choice as "I lose my glory but I gain long life," which is clean and immediate. Merrill keeps closer to the structure of the Greek lines and preserves repeated formulaic phrases, which matters for readers interested in how the poem actually works as an oral composition. His Book 9 version keeps the parallel "lost is my homeward return / lost is my excellent glory," where Wilson drops the parallelism. Wilson gains readability and loses the structural echo; Merrill keeps the echo and asks more patience from the reader.
Goddess, sing of the cataclysmic wrath
of great Achilles, son of Peleus,
which caused the Greeks immeasurable pain
and sent so many noble souls of heroes
to Hades, and made men the spoils of dogs,
a banquet for the birds, and so the plan
of Zeus unfolded—starting with the conflict
between great Agamemnon, lord of men,
and glorious Achilles.
Sing now, goddess, the wrath of Achilles the scion of Peleus,
ruinous rage which brought the Achaians uncounted afflictions;
many the powerful souls it sent to the dwelling of Hades,
those of the heroes, and spoil for the dogs it made of their bodies,
plunder for all of the birds, and the purpose of Zeus was accomplished—
sing from the time when first stood hostile, starting the conflict,
Atreus' scion, the lord of the people, and noble Achilles.