Both translators write in verse, but their line lengths and registers differ noticeably. Verity runs longer, more expansive lines that stay close to the shape of the Greek, while Jordan works in shorter, tighter units. In the opening passage, Verity writes "the accursed anger which brought the Achaeans countless agonies," keeping the weight of the original's accumulation, whereas Jordan compresses to "ruinous, that caused the Greeks untold ordeals," which is faster and plainer. Jordan also replaces "Achaeans" with "Greeks" throughout, a consistent choice that removes the archaic flavor Verity preserves. In the leaves passage of Book 6, Verity writes "the forest breaks into bud," adding a phrase not in Jordan's version, which stops at "the forest prospers and leafs again." Verity's register sits closer to formal literary English; Jordan's sits closer to contemporary speech. On approach, Verity keeps more of the Greek's structural detail, including repeated epithets and formulaic phrases. In the Book 21 passage, he retains "Thetis of the silver feet" and the full catalogue of Achilles' self-description. Jordan trims that sequence and moves quickly to the action. What Verity gains is fidelity to Homer's oral texture; what he gives up is momentum. Jordan's lines move faster and read with less ceremony, which suits the speech rhythms of Achilles in Book 9, where Jordan's "I will forfeit glory, but gain long life" is direct and immediate. What Jordan gives up is some of the weight that comes from Homer's repetition and the accumulation of his longer periodic sentences.
SING, goddess, the anger of Achilles, Peleus' son,
the accursed anger which brought the Achaeans countless
agonies and hurled many mighty shades of heroes into Hades,
causing them to become the prey of dogs and
all kinds of birds; and the plan of Zeus was fulfilled.
Sing from the time the two men were first divided in strife—
Atreus' son, lord of men, and glorious Achilles.
Sing, goddess, of Peleus' son Achilles' anger,
ruinous, that caused the Greeks untold ordeals,
consigned to Hades countless valiant souls,
heroes, and left their bodies prey for dogs
or feast for vultures. Zeus's will was done
from when those two first quarreled and split apart,
the king, Agamemnon, and matchless Achilles.