Verity writes in a looser formal verse that keeps longer, more deliberate lines, while Johnston's free verse runs shorter and choppier. In the opening of Book 1, Verity gives "the accursed anger which brought the Achaeans countless / agonies," where the line break reinforces the weight of the word "countless." Johnston writes "that murderous anger which condemned Achaeans / to countless agonies," and "condemned" is more active, more contemporary. In the Book 21 passage, Johnston has Achilles say "Why be sad about it?" where Verity writes "why lament like this?" Johnston's phrasing is plain to the point of being conversational. Verity stays in a consistent middle register, elevated without being archaic, while Johnston occasionally drops into something closer to ordinary speech. Verity keeps close to the Greek word order and repeats the formal epithets, as in Book 9 where he retains "Thetis of the silver feet." Johnston drops some of those epithets when they slow the line down, and in Book 6 he turns Homer's six-line leaves simile into five lines by cutting the explicit structural parallel "so it is also with men." Verity keeps that phrase in, making the comparison explicit. Johnston removes it and lets the parallel arrive on its own. Verity's fidelity to the Greek structure makes the poem feel like a monument being read; Johnston's cuts make the same poem feel spoken. Neither choice is free of cost.
SING, goddess, the anger of Achilles, Peleus' son,
the accursed anger which brought the Achaeans countless
agonies and hurled many mighty shades of heroes into Hades,
causing them to become the prey of dogs and
all kinds of birds; and the plan of Zeus was fulfilled.
Sing from the time the two men were first divided in strife—
Atreus' son, lord of men, and glorious Achilles.
Sing, Goddess, sing the rage of Achilles, son of Peleus—
that murderous anger which condemned Achaeans
to countless agonies and threw many warrior souls
deep into Hades, leaving their dead bodies
carrion food for dogs and birds—
all in fulfilment of the will of Zeus.