Murray writes continuous prose throughout, with sentences that run long and carry the syntax of the Greek fairly directly. His diction is formal and occasionally archaic: "thus the plan of Zeus came to fulfillment," "how comely and how tall." Graves writes in rhyming verse for some passages and plain prose for others, which creates an uneven surface. His opening renders μῆνιν as "That anger which most ruinously / Inflamed Achilles," forcing a rhyme on "me" and "ruinously" that the Greek does not require. In Book 21, Graves drops into a casual register, giving Achilles the line "Yes, friend, including you. Why bemoan your lot?" where Murray has "Nay, friend, do thou too die; why lamentest thou thus?" The gap in register between the two translations is wide. Murray follows the Greek closely, keeping its order of ideas and much of its formulaic repetition, including "flashing-eyed Athene" and "silver-footed Thetis." He loses some immediacy in doing so: "so present a helper am I to thee" is accurate but stiff. Graves reads as a retelling aimed at ease and pace. In Book 9, he presents Thetis's prophecy as a block of quoted verse inside Achilles's speech, which the Greek does not do. This makes the scene easier to follow but adds a structure Homer did not use. In Book 6, Graves expands the leaves simile from two sentences to eight lines of verse, adding "cold earth" and "Old Mother Earth" with no warrant from the Greek. Murray keeps the simile compact, closer to the original's speed.
The wrath sing, goddess, of Peleus' son, Achilles, that destructive wrath which brought countless woes upon the Achaeans, and sent forth to Hades many valiant souls of heroes, and made them themselves spoil for dogs and every bird; thus the plan of Zeus came to fulfillment, from the time when first they parted in strife Atreus' son, king of men, and brilliant Achilles.
Sing, Mountain Goddess, sing through me
That anger which most ruinously
Inflamed Achilles, Peleus' son,
And which, before the tale was done,
Had glutted Hell with champions—bold,
Stern spirits by the thousandfold;
Ravens and dogs their corpses ate
For thus did Zeus, who watched their fate,
See his resolve, first taken when
Proud Agamemnon, King of men,
An insult on Achilles cast,
Achieve accomplishment at last.