Both translations are in verse, but they move quite differently on the page. Mitchell writes in a free verse that runs close to natural English speech: his lines are shorter and more even, and he drops epithets and formulaic tags when they slow the sentence down. In Book 1 he opens "The rage of Achilles, sing it now, goddess, sing through me," pulling the verb forward and folding the goddess into the line's momentum. Verity keeps closer to Homer's line structure, so his sentences run longer and his word order sometimes delays the main clause. His opening "SING, goddess, the anger of Achilles, Peleus' son" preserves the vocative and the patronymic. Mitchell's register is contemporary American prose poetry; Verity's is formal English without being archaic, closer to the cadence of a careful scholarly rendering. Verity prioritises fidelity to Homer's Greek: he keeps the epithet "silver feet" for Thetis in Book 9, retains the patronymic "Peleus' son" in the opening, and in Book 6 translates the leaf simile almost word for word: "the wind scatters the leaves on the ground, but the forest breaks into bud." Readers who want to track Homer's actual structure and phrasing get more of that from Verity. Mitchell prioritises a reading experience in English, so he cuts and rearranges freely. In Book 9 he removes "two spectres carrying me towards the end of death" entirely and gives only the choice itself. That produces cleaner forward motion but removes a layer of the original. Verity's version retains more, but the longer lines ask more of the reader's attention.
The rage of Achilles—sing it now, goddess, sing through me
the deadly rage that caused the Achaeans such grief
and hurled down to Hades the souls of so many fighters,
leaving their naked flesh to be eaten by dogs
and carrion birds, as the will of Zeus was accomplished.
Begin at the time when bitter words first divided
that king of men, Agamemnon, and godlike Achilles.
SING, goddess, the anger of Achilles, Peleus' son,
the accursed anger which brought the Achaeans countless
agonies and hurled many mighty shades of heroes into Hades,
causing them to become the prey of dogs and
all kinds of birds; and the plan of Zeus was fulfilled.
Sing from the time the two men were first divided in strife—
Atreus' son, lord of men, and glorious Achilles.