Merrill writes in verse, using a hexameter line that runs long and places stress according to a classical pattern. Rouse writes plain prose, broken into short declarative sentences. The difference shows immediately in Book 1: Merrill opens with "Sing now, goddess, the wrath of Achilles the scion of Peleus," a line that carries forward motion, while Rouse opens with "An angry man — There is my story," a direct address to the reader that sounds like a storyteller clearing his throat. Merrill's diction is formal throughout, reaching for archaic constructions like "scion" and "spoil for the dogs." Rouse's register stays contemporary, and in Book 5 he gives Athena the phrase "Mr. Facing-all-ways," which has no equivalent in Merrill and reads as deliberately colloquial, almost comic. Merrill prioritizes performing the Greek aloud. His line in Book 9, "lost is my homeward return, but never will perish my glory," keeps the parallel structure of the original, where Achilles weighs the two fates in balanced clauses. Rouse converts the same lines into a subordinate clause, losing that symmetry but making the logic easier to follow quickly. In Book 21, Rouse's Achilles says "Come, my friend, die too; why do you cry like that?" The tone is blunt, close to a taunt. Merrill's version is more measured: "No, friend, you die also." Neither is wrong, but Rouse accepts that colloquial force changes the emotional texture, while Merrill treats the Greek's formality as a feature worth keeping.
Sing now, goddess, the wrath of Achilles the scion of Peleus,
ruinous rage which brought the Achaians uncounted afflictions;
many the powerful souls it sent to the dwelling of Hades,
those of the heroes, and spoil for the dogs it made of their bodies,
plunder for all of the birds, and the purpose of Zeus was accomplished—
sing from the time when first stood hostile, starting the conflict,
Atreus' scion, the lord of the people, and noble Achilles.
An angry man—There is my story: The bitter rancour of Achillês, prince of the house of Peleus, which brought a thousand troubles upon the Achaian host. Many a strong soul it sent down to Hadês, and left the heroes themselves a prey to dogs and carrion birds, while the will of God moved on to fulfilment.
It began first of all with a quarrel between my lord King Agamemnon of Atreus' line and the Prince Achillês.