Both translations are in verse, but their line lengths and registers differ noticeably. Merrill writes in dactylic hexameter, the meter of the Greek original, which produces long, sometimes crowded lines: "ruinous rage which brought the Achaians uncounted afflictions." Jordan works in shorter, looser lines closer to natural English speech: "ruinous, that caused the Greeks untold ordeals." In the Book 6 leaves passage, Merrill keeps the periodic structure of the Greek, building across multiple lines, while Jordan condenses to four brisk lines. Merrill's diction leans toward the formal and occasionally archaic, using "scion" and "single-hoofed horses," while Jordan favors plainer contemporary words, as in "a frenzied two-faced pest" for Ares in Book 5. Merrill's translation gives weight to reproducing the formal properties of the original, including its meter and its epithets. This produces a text that rewards slow reading and conveys the ceremonial weight of the poem. The trade-off is that individual lines can feel effortful. Jordan prioritizes readability and spoken flow. In the Book 9 passage on Achilles' choice, Merrill writes "lost is my excellent glory," a close rendering of the Greek syntax, while Jordan writes "I will forfeit glory, but gain long life," which reads more directly. Jordan's version is easier to follow on a first pass but removes some of the parallelism that gives the Greek its rhetorical force. Each translation reflects a different priority in making the poem available to English readers.
Sing now, goddess, the wrath of Achilles the scion of Peleus,
ruinous rage which brought the Achaians uncounted afflictions;
many the powerful souls it sent to the dwelling of Hades,
those of the heroes, and spoil for the dogs it made of their bodies,
plunder for all of the birds, and the purpose of Zeus was accomplished—
sing from the time when first stood hostile, starting the conflict,
Atreus' scion, the lord of the people, and noble Achilles.
Sing, goddess, of Peleus' son Achilles' anger,
ruinous, that caused the Greeks untold ordeals,
consigned to Hades countless valiant souls,
heroes, and left their bodies prey for dogs
or feast for vultures. Zeus's will was done
from when those two first quarreled and split apart,
the king, Agamemnon, and matchless Achilles.