Merrill writes in dactylic hexameter, the meter of the Greek original, and holds to it throughout. His lines are long and formally regular, with an archaic lift to the diction: "ruinous rage," "uncounted afflictions," "the dwelling of Hades." Graves, working in prose for the battle scenes and dialogue, shifts to rhymed verse for set pieces. His opening gives "That anger which most ruinously / Inflamed Achilles," and his "leaves" passage in Book 6 breaks into a four-stanza rhymed lyric with lines like "Cold autumn scatters them to rout." The register shifts accordingly: Merrill stays elevated and ceremonial, while Graves moves between a more conversational prose and a popular ballad tone. In the Book 21 passage, Merrill gives "Yet over me also hangs death, irresistible doomsday," where Graves writes "immediate death threatens me," plain and direct. Merrill's stated aim is to reproduce the sound and rhythm of the Greek, including its oral-performance quality. His Book 9 speech keeps the structural parallelism of the original: "lost is my homeward return / lost is my excellent glory," matching Homer's repeated "ὤλετο." Graves takes a different path. He breaks the same speech into a verse prophecy with rhyme and a framing prose sentence, which makes the passage easier to read aloud as narrative but moves away from what Homer actually wrote. Merrill's version requires more patience; the hexameter can feel heavy in English. Graves sacrifices that formal loyalty but produces something a general reader can move through quickly. His Book 5 Athena is blunt and modern: "that mad, raving fellow, that universal curse, that renegade." Merrill's Athena is "a treacherous turncoat," slightly more formal but still pointed.
Sing now, goddess, the wrath of Achilles the scion of Peleus,
ruinous rage which brought the Achaians uncounted afflictions;
many the powerful souls it sent to the dwelling of Hades,
those of the heroes, and spoil for the dogs it made of their bodies,
plunder for all of the birds, and the purpose of Zeus was accomplished—
sing from the time when first stood hostile, starting the conflict,
Atreus' scion, the lord of the people, and noble Achilles.
Sing, Mountain Goddess, sing through me
That anger which most ruinously
Inflamed Achilles, Peleus' son,
And which, before the tale was done,
Had glutted Hell with champions—bold,
Stern spirits by the thousandfold;
Ravens and dogs their corpses ate
For thus did Zeus, who watched their fate,
See his resolve, first taken when
Proud Agamemnon, King of men,
An insult on Achilles cast,
Achieve accomplishment at last.