Lombardo writes in short, punchy lines. His Book 1 opening ("Sing, Goddess, Achilles' rage, / Black and murderous") gets to the point in plain American English, drops the Homeric patronymic "Peleus' son," and compresses the Greek into a register that reads as spoken rather than written. Verity keeps the patronymic, repeats "Sing" to open a new clause, and runs longer lines that stay close to the structure of the Greek. In the Book 21 passage, Lombardo gives Achilles "I too / Am in death's shadow," while Verity gives "over me too hangs death and my harsh destiny." Lombardo is colloquial; Verity is measured and formal without being archaic. The rhythm in Lombardo is irregular and clipped. In Verity it is steadier, closer to the pace of sustained oral delivery. Lombardo prioritizes immediate dramatic impact. He cuts the patronymics and epithets that slow the Greek down, and he compresses speeches so they feel confrontational. In Book 5, he removes the full description of Ares as "this crazed god, this shape formed of evil, this two-faced scoundrel" and replaces it with "a shifty lout," which is vivid but drops most of the Greek's accumulation. Verity keeps that accumulation and stays close to the original's syntax and epithets throughout. The Book 6 leaves passage shows the same split: Lombardo adds "in their seasons" and "when spring comes again," which are not in the Greek, while Verity translates more literally. Verity's approach suits a reader who wants to see Homer's actual choices; Lombardo's suits a reader who wants the poem to move.
Sing, Goddess, Achilles' rage,
Black and murderous, that cost the Greeks
Incalculable pain, pitched countless souls
Of heroes into Hades' dark,
And left their bodies to rot as feasts
For dogs and birds, as Zeus' will was done.
SING, goddess, the anger of Achilles, Peleus' son,
the accursed anger which brought the Achaeans countless
agonies and hurled many mighty shades of heroes into Hades,
causing them to become the prey of dogs and
all kinds of birds; and the plan of Zeus was fulfilled.
Sing from the time the two men were first divided in strife—
Atreus' son, lord of men, and glorious Achilles.