Lombardo writes in verse and Murray in prose, and that difference shapes the reading experience from the first line. Lombardo cuts the opening to short, punchy units: "Sing, Goddess, Achilles' rage, / Black and murderous." The line breaks create pauses that give the words weight. Murray runs his sentences long and subordinate clauses pile up: "that destructive wrath which brought countless woes upon the Achaeans, and sent forth to Hades many valiant souls of heroes." His register is formal and slightly archaic, visible in phrases like "fear thou not" (Book 5) and "putteth forth others" (Book 6). Lombardo's diction stays contemporary throughout. In the leaves passage, he writes "Men too. Their generations come and go," a sentence of five words where Murray gives a full subordinate period. Murray prioritises completeness. He keeps the epithets ("silver-footed Thetis"), the repeated formulaic phrases, and the full syntax of Achilles' speech in Book 9, where "lost is my home-return, but my renown shall be imperishable" maps closely to the Greek's parallel structure. Lombardo removes or compresses those elements to keep momentum. In Book 21, Murray renders Achilles' taunt with "And seest thou not what manner of man am I, how comely and how tall?" Lombardo gives "Do you see how huge I am, / How beautiful?" The content is similar but Lombardo removes the archaic syntax and the formal question structure. Murray's approach suits a reader who wants the text close to its source. Lombardo's suits a reader who wants the poem to move at pace.
Sing, Goddess, Achilles' rage,
Black and murderous, that cost the Greeks
Incalculable pain, pitched countless souls
Of heroes into Hades' dark,
And left their bodies to rot as feasts
For dogs and birds, as Zeus' will was done.
The wrath sing, goddess, of Peleus' son, Achilles, that destructive wrath which brought countless woes upon the Achaeans, and sent forth to Hades many valiant souls of heroes, and made them themselves spoil for dogs and every bird; thus the plan of Zeus came to fulfillment, from the time when first they parted in strife Atreus' son, king of men, and brilliant Achilles.