Lombardo writes in short free-verse lines with a contemporary, often colloquial register. His opening gives "Sing, Goddess, Achilles' rage, / Black and murderous," cutting the Greek's elaborate genealogical phrase "Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος" entirely. The lines move fast, and the diction stays close to spoken American English. Merrill, by contrast, writes in dactylic hexameter, the meter of the Greek original, with long rolling lines: "ruinous rage which brought the Achaians uncounted afflictions." That line structure creates a formal, elevated register throughout. In the Book 21 death speech, Lombardo has Achilles say "Take a look at me. Do you see how huge I am," which is direct and almost conversational. Merrill writes "Do you not see what a man I am, how handsome and mighty," which keeps a grander tone. Merrill's stated aim is metrical fidelity to Homer, and his translation carries that through every passage. In Book 9, he preserves the parallel structure of Achilles' two fates line by line: "lost is my homeward return" then "lost is my excellent glory," matching the Greek's syntactic repetition. Lombardo removes that structural symmetry, giving "my glory will be undying forever" against "my glory is lost," which reads more naturally in English but drops the rhetorical balance Homer built. Merrill's approach rewards readers who want to hear something close to how Homer's Greek is organized. Lombardo's approach produces lines that feel immediate and speak at speed. The Book 6 leaves passage shows this cleanly: Lombardo ends at four lines, Merrill at four also, but Merrill names the mechanism of growth and fading in each clause where Lombardo summarizes and stops.
Sing, Goddess, Achilles' rage,
Black and murderous, that cost the Greeks
Incalculable pain, pitched countless souls
Of heroes into Hades' dark,
And left their bodies to rot as feasts
For dogs and birds, as Zeus' will was done.
Sing now, goddess, the wrath of Achilles the scion of Peleus,
ruinous rage which brought the Achaians uncounted afflictions;
many the powerful souls it sent to the dwelling of Hades,
those of the heroes, and spoil for the dogs it made of their bodies,
plunder for all of the birds, and the purpose of Zeus was accomplished—
sing from the time when first stood hostile, starting the conflict,
Atreus' scion, the lord of the people, and noble Achilles.