Johnston writes in free verse, which gives him flexible line lengths and lets him follow the sense of a passage without forcing a rhyme or a fixed beat. His diction is contemporary and plain: "that murderous anger which condemned Achaeans / to countless agonies" moves quickly and stays close to ordinary speech. Jordan also writes in verse but holds his lines tighter, and his word choices sit at a slightly higher register. Where Johnston gives "why be sad about it," Jordan writes "but why complain," a small difference that shows Jordan reaching for compression. In the Leaves passage, Johnston takes four lines to cover what Jordan covers in three, and Johnston adds the explanatory "And so with men," where Jordan lets the image do the work alone. Johnston prioritises readability and a natural speaking rhythm, which means he occasionally adds explanatory phrases the Greek does not include. In the Book 1 opening, he ends with "all in fulfilment of the will of Zeus," a complete clause that explains the connection; Jordan keeps "Zeus's will was done" and moves straight into the quarrel between Agamemnon and Achilles, preserving more of the Greek sequence. Jordan attends more closely to line-by-line correspondence and tends to include details Johnston omits: in Book 9, Jordan adds "yet if I return home to my fatherland / I will forfeit glory," where Johnston drops "fatherland" entirely. Johnston's reader gets a smoother passage through the poem; Jordan's reader gets a text that stays closer to what Homer's Greek actually says.
Sing, Goddess, sing the rage of Achilles, son of Peleus—
that murderous anger which condemned Achaeans
to countless agonies and threw many warrior souls
deep into Hades, leaving their dead bodies
carrion food for dogs and birds—
all in fulfilment of the will of Zeus.
Sing, goddess, of Peleus' son Achilles' anger,
ruinous, that caused the Greeks untold ordeals,
consigned to Hades countless valiant souls,
heroes, and left their bodies prey for dogs
or feast for vultures. Zeus's will was done
from when those two first quarreled and split apart,
the king, Agamemnon, and matchless Achilles.