Fitzgerald writes in verse with short, dense lines and a compressed register that removes the repeated epithets and explanatory tags common in Homer. In the Iliad's opening, he gives "doomed and ruinous" for the anger, where Verity writes "the accursed anger which brought the Achaeans countless / agonies." Fitzgerald's version moves faster and feels more literary. Verity is also in verse, but his lines are long, close to prose in rhythm, and retain the additive quality of the Greek. In Book 21, Fitzgerald cuts to "Come, friend, face your death, you too," while Verity keeps "So, my friend, you too must die; why lament like this?" Both are direct, but Fitzgerald's imperative is starker. Verity's diction is contemporary without being colloquial. Fitzgerald prioritises performance and lyric impact. He removes epithets, compresses speeches, and shapes lines for a reader listening rather than checking the Greek. In Book 6, he adds "old leaves, cast on the ground" where the Greek has no such adjective, and the resulting image is stronger but further from the text. Verity prioritises fidelity. He keeps the structure of the Greek sentences, repeats "the family of men" as the Greek repeats "generation," and retains the epithets. In Book 9, Verity gives the full "Thetis of the silver feet" where Fitzgerald simply moves on. A reader who wants to follow the argument of the poem closely, tracking its repeated phrases and formal patterns, gets more from Verity. A reader who wants fluid English verse gets more from Fitzgerald.
Anger be now your song, immortal one,
Akhilleus' anger, doomed and ruinous,
that caused the Akhaians loss on bitter loss
and crowded brave souls into the undergloom,
leaving so many dead men—carrion
for dogs and birds; and the will of Zeus was done.
SING, goddess, the anger of Achilles, Peleus' son,
the accursed anger which brought the Achaeans countless
agonies and hurled many mighty shades of heroes into Hades,
causing them to become the prey of dogs and
all kinds of birds; and the plan of Zeus was fulfilled.
Sing from the time the two men were first divided in strife—
Atreus' son, lord of men, and glorious Achilles.