Fitzgerald writes in verse, using line breaks and controlled rhythm to shape how the reader moves through the poem. His diction sits in a literary register that is neither archaic nor colloquial: he writes "old leaves, cast on the ground by wind, young leaves / the greening forest bears when spring comes in" where Rouse gives "leaves fall when the breezes blow, in the springtime others grow." Rouse uses plain prose throughout, and his sentences are short, direct, and close to spoken English. In the Book 5 exchange between Athena and Diomedes, Rouse has Athena say "Mr. Facing-all-ways," a colloquial phrase with no equivalent in Fitzgerald, who stays more formally literary with "two-faced everywhere." The gap in register between the two translations is wide and consistent across all five passages. Rouse prioritizes immediate readability. His prose moves fast, and a reader unfamiliar with epic poetry can follow it without effort. He loses some compression: in Book 9, Achilles' two-fate speech reads in Rouse as plain explanation, while Fitzgerald's version holds the parallel structure tighter, placing "I lose" and "my glory / fails" in clean opposition. Fitzgerald, working in verse, keeps closer to the structural symmetry of the Greek. He also cuts more freely: his Book 21 passage ends before Rouse's, dropping the final killing stroke that Rouse includes in full. Rouse keeps that physical detail, "he sat there with both hands spread out" before the sword falls. Each translation makes the Greek accessible by different means, and each removes something the other keeps.
Anger be now your song, immortal one,
Akhilleus' anger, doomed and ruinous,
that caused the Akhaians loss on bitter loss
and crowded brave souls into the undergloom,
leaving so many dead men—carrion
for dogs and birds; and the will of Zeus was done.
An angry man—There is my story: The bitter rancour of Achillês, prince of the house of Peleus, which brought a thousand troubles upon the Achaian host. Many a strong soul it sent down to Hadês, and left the heroes themselves a prey to dogs and carrion birds, while the will of God moved on to fulfilment.
It began first of all with a quarrel between my lord King Agamemnon of Atreus' line and the Prince Achillês.