Fagles writes in free verse, which means line length varies and the text has rhythm without a fixed meter. His opening word, "Rage," lands alone and hard. Rouse writes continuous prose, and his opener, "An angry man," sits inside a longer sentence that moves toward explanation. These choices carry through the whole poem. Fagles tends toward a heightened contemporary register, occasionally punchy and physical: in Book 5, Athena calls Ares a "born for disaster, double-dealing, lying two-face god," which is almost conversational in its scorn. Rouse in the same passage calls him "Mr. Facing-all-ways," a phrase that is colloquial to the point of being breezy. Neither translation sounds archaic. Both aim for a living voice, but Fagles keeps more vertical pressure in his lines. Rouse stated openly that he wanted the poem to read the way a good story reads, fast and plain. His Book 6 leaves passage runs: "Leaves fall when the breezes blow, in the springtime others grow." It moves, but it compresses. Fagles gives the same lines more room: "Now the wind scatters the old leaves across the earth, / now the living timber bursts with the new buds." That version adds visual detail and slows the reader down. In the Book 21 speech, Rouse has Achilles say "Don't you see me too, a fine big man?" Fagles has "look, you see how handsome and powerful I am?" Rouse prioritizes pace and access. Fagles prioritizes the emotional weight of individual moments. Rouse gains forward momentum; Fagles gains texture.
Rage—Goddess, sing the rage of Peleus' son Achilles,
murderous, doomed, that cost the Achaeans countless losses,
hurling down to the House of Death so many sturdy souls,
great fighters' souls, but made their bodies carrion,
feasts for the dogs and birds,
and the will of Zeus was moving toward its end.
An angry man—There is my story: The bitter rancour of Achillês, prince of the house of Peleus, which brought a thousand troubles upon the Achaian host. Many a strong soul it sent down to Hadês, and left the heroes themselves a prey to dogs and carrion birds, while the will of God moved on to fulfilment.
It began first of all with a quarrel between my lord King Agamemnon of Atreus' line and the Prince Achillês.