Fagles writes in free verse with lines of varying length, and his choices in diction lean contemporary without going casual. The opening word "Rage" lands alone, a single stark noun before the sentence builds. In the Book 21 passage, Achilles tells Lycaon "Come, friend, you too must die. Why moan about it so?" The phrasing is direct and slightly clipped, with a rhythm that feels spoken but not slack. Rieu's prose moves steadily forward in full sentences. His version of the same moment reads: "Yes, my friend, you die too. Why make such a song about it?" The register is similar, though "make such a song about it" carries a mildly idiomatic British quality that Fagles avoids. Both sit in a contemporary register, neither archaic nor colloquial. Rieu puts readability first. His prose is clear and continuous, and a reader unfamiliar with epic poetry can move through it without stopping. In the Book 9 passage, he gives the full context of Thetis and the two fates in one unbroken sentence, keeping the logic easy to follow. Fagles keeps the lines broken and the phrasing tighter. In the same passage he cuts "Thetis says that destiny has left two courses open to me" down to an implied frame, letting Achilles speak the choice directly: "my journey home is gone, but my glory never dies." That compression adds intensity but removes some of the deliberateness in Achilles's speech. Rieu's prose gains accessibility; Fagles's verse gains immediacy.
Rage—Goddess, sing the rage of Peleus' son Achilles,
murderous, doomed, that cost the Achaeans countless losses,
hurling down to the House of Death so many sturdy souls,
great fighters' souls, but made their bodies carrion,
feasts for the dogs and birds,
and the will of Zeus was moving toward its end.
Anger — sing, goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that accursed anger, which brought the Greeks endless sufferings and sent the mighty souls of many warriors to Hades, leaving their bodies as carrion for the dogs and a feast for the birds; and Zeus' purpose was fulfilled. It all began when Agamemnon lord of men and godlike Achilles quarrelled and parted.