Fagles writes in free verse with variable line lengths that follow breath and stress rather than a fixed meter. His diction sits in an elevated but recognizable register, occasionally pulling toward the colloquial. In Book 21, he gives Achilles the line "Come, friend, you too must die. Why moan about it so?" The word "moan" is blunt, almost casual, and it lands hard. Mitchell's verse runs in longer lines with a more even, measured pace. His version of the same moment reads "you too must die. Why all this moaning about it?" which is grammatically similar but rhythmically flatter. In the Book 1 opening, Fagles puts "Rage" alone at the start of the line, giving it maximum weight. Mitchell folds "rage" into a longer phrase and adds "sing through me," words with no equivalent in the Greek. Fagles trained as a classicist and translator, and his version shows consistent attention to Greek word order and the emotional weight of individual terms, though he adds color where he judges it serves the English. Mitchell is known for keeping sentences plain and accessible. In the Book 6 leaves passage, Fagles gives "the living timber bursts with the new buds," where "bursts" adds energy the Greek does not explicitly supply. Mitchell's "bursts with new buds as soon as springtime arrives" moves faster but the phrase "as soon as" replaces a simpler Greek construction. Fagles performs the poem more openly, using syntax for dramatic effect. Mitchell removes that performance and gives the reader speed and clarity instead.
Rage—Goddess, sing the rage of Peleus' son Achilles,
murderous, doomed, that cost the Achaeans countless losses,
hurling down to the House of Death so many sturdy souls,
great fighters' souls, but made their bodies carrion,
feasts for the dogs and birds,
and the will of Zeus was moving toward its end.
The rage of Achilles—sing it now, goddess, sing through me
the deadly rage that caused the Achaeans such grief
and hurled down to Hades the souls of so many fighters,
leaving their naked flesh to be eaten by dogs
and carrion birds, as the will of Zeus was accomplished.
Begin at the time when bitter words first divided
that king of men, Agamemnon, and godlike Achilles.