Fagles writes in free verse with long, rolling lines and a register that sits between formal and contemporary. His diction reaches for elevation without going archaic: "hurling down to the House of Death so many sturdy souls" has weight and momentum. Lombardo's lines are shorter and more compressed. In the same opening passage he writes "Black and murderous, that cost the Greeks / Incalculable pain," which is plainer and harder-edged. The difference in register sharpens in Book 21. Fagles gives Achilles the phrase "Come, friend, you too must die." Lombardo gives him "You die too, friend. Don't take it hard." That second version is blunt almost to the point of casualness, which may read as modern directness or as a flattening of tone, depending on the reader. Fagles adds texture and elaboration. In Book 5 he gives Athena a run of adjectives for Ares: "manic, born for disaster, double-dealing, lying two-face god." Lombardo cuts to "He's nothing but a shifty lout." The Greek phrase is roughly "raving, a made evil, a double-turner," so Lombardo is closer to the spare Greek syntax, while Fagles expands it for rhetorical force. In the leaves simile in Book 6, Fagles adds "the living timber bursts with the new buds," a phrase with no equivalent in the Greek lines provided. Lombardo's version stays tighter: "The wind blows them to the ground, but the tree / Sprouts new ones when spring comes again." Fagles prioritises rhetorical fullness; Lombardo prioritises compression and speed.
Rage—Goddess, sing the rage of Peleus' son Achilles,
murderous, doomed, that cost the Achaeans countless losses,
hurling down to the House of Death so many sturdy souls,
great fighters' souls, but made their bodies carrion,
feasts for the dogs and birds,
and the will of Zeus was moving toward its end.
Sing, Goddess, Achilles' rage,
Black and murderous, that cost the Greeks
Incalculable pain, pitched countless souls
Of heroes into Hades' dark,
And left their bodies to rot as feasts
For dogs and birds, as Zeus' will was done.