Fagles writes in free verse with long, muscular lines and a contemporary American register. His opening word, "Rage," lands alone, a single syllable before the rest of the sentence catches up. In the Book 21 passage, Achilles tells his victim "Come, friend, you too must die. Why moan about it so?" The phrasing is direct to the point of bluntness, almost conversational. Fitzgerald's lines are shorter and more controlled, with a quieter formality. His version of the same moment reads: "Come, friend, face your death, you too." The syntax is tighter, the word order slightly inverted in a way that keeps a faint archaic flavor without tipping into costume. Neither translation uses elevated or deliberately antique diction, but Fitzgerald's register sits higher than Fagles's throughout. Fagles adds color and emphasis where the Greek is spare. In Book 5, Athena calls Ares "manic, born for disaster, double-dealing, lying two-face god," piling up descriptors the Greek handles in three compact words. The effect is punchy and theatrical. Fitzgerald's version, "maniacal god / by nature evil, two-faced everywhere," stays closer to that compression. Fagles clearly aims for performance, a translation that reads aloud with energy, and it gains immediacy at the cost of economy. Fitzgerald moves more carefully around the Greek structure, which gives his version a steadier forward movement. In the "leaves" passage, Fagles adds "living timber bursts" and "spring comes round again," both expansions. Fitzgerald removes that padding and the image stays clean.
Rage—Goddess, sing the rage of Peleus' son Achilles,
murderous, doomed, that cost the Achaeans countless losses,
hurling down to the House of Death so many sturdy souls,
great fighters' souls, but made their bodies carrion,
feasts for the dogs and birds,
and the will of Zeus was moving toward its end.
Anger be now your song, immortal one,
Akhilleus' anger, doomed and ruinous,
that caused the Akhaians loss on bitter loss
and crowded brave souls into the undergloom,
leaving so many dead men—carrion
for dogs and birds; and the will of Zeus was done.