Fagles writes in free verse, so the reader meets line breaks, white space, and a driving forward rhythm. His opening word, "Rage," stands alone before the full sentence opens, which puts maximum stress on the poem's central subject. Butler runs everything into prose, and his opening moves at a brisk, even pace: "Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus." The diction differs throughout. Fagles reaches for a charged, contemporary register; in the Book 21 passage he gives Achilles the blunt, almost conversational line "Come, friend, you too must die." Butler at the same moment writes "Therefore, my friend, you too shall die," where "Therefore" and "shall" pull the voice toward a formal, slightly archaic English that was already traditional in 1898. Fagles keeps performance in view. His lines are built to be read aloud, and he adds weight where the Greek punches hard, as in the Book 9 passage where he spreads Achilles' choice across four short, paused lines before the payoff. Butler moves faster and stays closer to the sentence structures of plain statement. He removes the dramatic pacing and gives back easy, unobstructed reading. In the Leaves passage, Fagles gives "the living timber bursts with the new buds," while Butler gives "the forest buds forth with fresh vines." Butler's phrasing is accurate and quick; Fagles adds physical force. Readers who want to read straight through at speed find Butler easier; readers who want each scene to land with weight find Fagles harder to put down.
Rage—Goddess, sing the rage of Peleus' son Achilles,
murderous, doomed, that cost the Achaeans countless losses,
hurling down to the House of Death so many sturdy souls,
great fighters' souls, but made their bodies carrion,
feasts for the dogs and birds,
and the will of Zeus was moving toward its end.
Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Achaeans. Many a brave soul did it send hurrying down to Hades, and many a hero did it yield a prey to dogs and vultures, for so were the counsels of Jove fulfilled from the day on which the son of Atreus, king of men, and great Achilles, first fell out with one another.