Butler writes in Victorian prose, with no line breaks and a register that mixes plain English with period formality. Phrases like "man after my own heart" (Book 5) and "hands of doom and death overshadow me" (Book 21) have a ceremonial weight that belongs to the late nineteenth century rather than to ancient Greek, but the prose moves without obstruction. Verity writes in verse with long lines that roughly follow the Greek hexameter's reach. In Book 6, Butler's "Men come and go as leaves year by year upon the trees" is a single fluid sentence; Verity's "As is the family of leaves, so it is also with men" keeps the explicit comparison the Greek states, at the cost of some momentum. Verity's diction stays close to contemporary standard English without being colloquial. Verity holds to the Greek syntax with care. In Book 9, Butler condenses Achilles' speech to its core choice: "my name will live for ever" or "it will be long ere death shall take me." Verity keeps both sides fully: "I shall lose my homecoming, but my fame will never die" and "my noble fame will be lost, but my life will be long." The compression Butler uses makes the passage easier to read fast; Verity's version gives the reader the whole structure of Achilles' reasoning. Butler regularly cuts supporting clauses and secondary details, which speeds the narrative but removes material the Greek carries. Verity adds fewer touches of his own but keeps more of what is on the page.
Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Achaeans. Many a brave soul did it send hurrying down to Hades, and many a hero did it yield a prey to dogs and vultures, for so were the counsels of Jove fulfilled from the day on which the son of Atreus, king of men, and great Achilles, first fell out with one another.
SING, goddess, the anger of Achilles, Peleus' son,
the accursed anger which brought the Achaeans countless
agonies and hurled many mighty shades of heroes into Hades,
causing them to become the prey of dogs and
all kinds of birds; and the plan of Zeus was fulfilled.
Sing from the time the two men were first divided in strife—
Atreus' son, lord of men, and glorious Achilles.