Both translations are in verse, but they handle line length and register differently. Alexander opens with a single word, "Wrath," set apart before the verb, giving the first line a short, punchy start before it expands. Verity's opening is more continuous, running the anger and its consequences together across longer lines. In the leaves passage (Book 6), Alexander writes "The wind scatters some leaves to the ground, but the forest grows others / that flourish," while Verity has "the wind scatters the leaves on the ground, but the forest breaks / into bud." Alexander's phrasing is slightly more elevated; Verity's "breaks into bud" is more conversational. Neither translation reaches for archaic diction, but Alexander's register sits a step more formal throughout. On approach to the Greek, Alexander stays close to Homer's word order and grammatical structure, which sometimes produces lines that feel slightly compressed or dense. In the Book 21 passage, she writes "yet death and powerful fate is upon me too," a compact phrase that keeps the Greek's weight. Verity adds small clarifications: "over me too hangs death and my harsh destiny" spreads the same idea out, making the meaning immediately clear at the cost of some compression. In the Book 9 passage, Verity includes the full framing line about Thetis before the famous choice, where Alexander moves faster into the dilemma. Verity prioritizes readability on the line; Alexander prioritizes keeping close to the Greek's economy.
Wrath—sing, goddess, of the ruinous wrath of Peleus' son Achilles,
that inflicted woes without number upon the Achaeans,
hurled forth to Hades many strong souls of warriors
and rendered their bodies prey for the dogs,
for all birds, and the will of Zeus was accomplished;
sing from when they two first stood in conflict—
Atreus' son, lord of men, and godlike Achilles.
SING, goddess, the anger of Achilles, Peleus' son,
the accursed anger which brought the Achaeans countless
agonies and hurled many mighty shades of heroes into Hades,
causing them to become the prey of dogs and
all kinds of birds; and the plan of Zeus was fulfilled.
Sing from the time the two men were first divided in strife—
Atreus' son, lord of men, and glorious Achilles.